Sticking it to the Greeting Card Companies

You know how people always say Valentine’s Day was invented by greeting card companies to sell red-and-white cards with canned expressions of amour? Well, it’s kind of true and kind of not. That’s not why it was invented but it is certainly why it’s so popular. But usually when people quote that old chestnut, what I hear them saying is, “I don’t feel like celebrating love this year.” And hey, BEEN THERE.

After a particularly nasty break-up in early adulthood, I took a nice long sabbatical from New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day–the two most romantic days of the year (allegedly). And then, I met Nathan, and life seemed very very sweet–even when, by all accounts, it was crashing down around my ears–and I felt like feteing love again.

We’ve now been together seven Valentine’s Days and somewhere along the line we developed the funny tradition of making each other offbeat cards. Actually, I just confirmed it with him and indeed this was my BRILLIANT idea. In fact, I think when you see my card, you’ll be like, Oh yeah. That has Alison written all over it.

You see, I am not, what you might call, “a crafty person.” My handwriting has repeatedly been described as that of a “twelve-year-old boy’s,” I can barely match my clothes, and my mother’s only advice for me when I announced that I was getting married was, “Oh god. Please pay people to do all the crafty stuff for you.” My only creative outlets are writing and cooking. You’ll note that neither involves “artistry.”

Yet once a year I ignore all evidence to the contrary and attempt to make an handmade Valentine for Nathan. After all, what corporation makes a greeting card that could properly express the very specific outpourings of my love and affection? None, I tell you.

This is what it looks like when I get creative

Behold, his Valentine. Well, a page from his Valentine. His “card” is actually a stapled-together, multi-page booklet. This page is very meta, which is why I love it. Or very Magritte. I’m not sure which. Maybe it’s both?

Coming to a Kindle near you summer 2011

Hungry for more? Okay, here’s another page. I’m particularly proud of this one.

You, Improved! Hahahaha

I only wish I had photos from the year I made him a Barack Obama Valentine. That one was the stuff of LEGEND–second only to the year I cut up an entire Victoria’s Secret catalog and pasted little word bubbles coming out of the models’ mouths.

His Valentine for me is even better. He went with a New Yorker theme, wherein he cut out their esoteric cartoons and then mocked them without mercy. Has there ever been a magazine that collectively knew so very little about love? Good, I’m glad we can agree.

There’s just something about making your own Valentine that makes you feel connected. Plus, making your own doesn’t let the greeting card companies win. There’s nothing wrong with feteing love. But only do it if you want to and do it on your own terms.